Is a contract worth the paper it's written on?

Like most people I thought a contract was a legally binding document but recent events have proved otherwise - unless I have a lot of money to spare!

I negotiated a deal with a client to assist in their promotion at a trade fair. As part of the deal the client was supposed to supply me with promotional material in the form of self-adhesive stickers that I could put on a playing card after I had done a trick and hand it out as a souvenir (and hence viral marketing). The day before the event I asked the client for the stickers and, you've guessed it, they had forgotten all about it! I had about 12 hours to try and come up with a way of promoting them and nothing to work with!

Another part of the deal was a massive discount in exchange for my details being added to the preferred suppliers list as my client is a venue that regularly hosts private functions. However, after working for them at the trade fair they described my behaviour as, and I quote, "inappropriate and offensive" which came as a complete shock to somebody whop makes their living by being nice to total strangers! To really cap things off, when I asked them to explain what I was supposed to have said or done that upset people, they refused to answer.

To really rub salt in the wound, I gave them credit - which I don't normally do, and they were a week late paying the bill. When their cheque finally arrived they had not included the VAT so either they decided to mess me about even more or they employ somebody who is too stupid to read an Invoice.

After giving myself several days to calm down, I sent copies of the emails between myself and the client to get their advice. Guess what, the solicitor wants about £500 just to write a letter to my client asking for clarification! He also added that, because of the nature of my business, it would be difficult to quantify my financial losses and litigation would be extremely expensive.

Contract? Forget it. In future I might try and hire a few heavies to negotiate for me!

Valentine's Day

Boy did I have some making-up to do this year. You've guessed it I was working on Valentine's Day! But there is more to it than that you see. February 14th is also my wedding anniversary. Some people say it's romantic to get married on Valentine's Day but the truth of the matter is that February 14th is also my birthday! Yes guys, I got married on my birthday so I can't forget the wedding anniversary - good trick eh? We went out to a dinner & dance on the 13th and the wife arranged champagne and a cake at midnight but there wasn't a lot I could do on the 14th as I was working at a local restaurant. The saving grace is that it looks like I will be getting a lot of work out of that one show so I was sort of forgiven but I had to make it up by taking the wife out the weekend after Valentine's Day. It sort of made the celebrations last a bit longer doing things that way but I'll think twice before taking a booking for next year!

Environmental Magic!

The brain cells have been buzzing for the last four days. I was asked if I could produce magic tricks to highlight key points in a presentation of Environmental Awareness. To be honest, it's not something that I really think about too much. I conserve power simply because the bills can get astronomical if I don't! I've always recycled packaging to various degrees but there is much more to it than that. I've come up with a few ideas based on the theme of their presenter being the 'straight' man and I'll do the comedy stuff to lighten up the presentation. I've got various ideas for things like switching off the lights, saving water and animal conservation so it should work pretty well. Let's hope my clients like it too.

Teenagers - Just anti anything adult?

We had a Halloween party like many people last weekend. One of our friends arrived with their own kids and a few others in tow. Not a problem for us but we ended up with a group of about six or seven girls in their early teens. Naturally they congregated together and stayed away from the rest of us as much as possible. Not a problem either as far as we were concerned. At several points during the evening, they all decided to visit the bathroom at the same time. When I went upstairs I saw the door was open and they were simply taking pictures of each other in their costumes on the mobile phones. When I asked if there was a more scenic location to take photographs other then the bathroom I was told, "PROBABLY NOT". I decided to let it go and turned away to hear the same person ask the other girls, "WHAT'S SCENIC?" I no longer wonder why teenagers have such a bad reputation!

On a more positive note, they were a great audience when I decided to try out some of my new act on them.

I Love Fancy Dress

I helped out a friend at the weekend - Something that we all should do. In my case it was business but that is neither here nor there. I first met Sammy and Donna when they opened their Fancy Dress shop near to where I lived. I offered to entertain the customers at their opening for free. Not only was I helping them, I was publicising myself at the same time. The store was going fine for just over a year when somebody decided to set light to the rubbish bin outside the shop. The end result was the shop was gutted and all the effort they had put in was wasted. They weren't deterred by the fire and opened a new shop in a slightly different location. That's where I was on Saturday, helping with the re-launch. They only have one changing room at the moment so I was entertaining the queue of people waiting to try on various costumes. I can't just stand around when people look lost so I was also helping people locate various costumes and accessories when I wasn't performing. Sammy tried to pay me for performing but I refused. That is what friendship is all about. Businesses and people should spend more time helping each other - especially in these troubled economic times. A final plug, their website is www.ilovefancydress.co.uk